Today I thought that I would give you guys a little bit of background on myself and why I decided to do this blog. About a year ago I ended a long term relationship, at the end I started to feel like I had lost myself somewhere and had no idea who I was or what I wanted from life. During this period I thought, well might as well get in shape while I think about who the hell I am. This was the greatest thing I could have ever done for myself. I have learned so much about myself in the last year than I have in the previous 25! One of the biggest changes I see is my self-esteem and overall happiness. I talk to my patients about happiness all the time, so I thought I would share some of my helpful hints that I have picked up over the last couple of years to increase happiness. Enjoy :-)
1. Positive Thinking - in typical social work fashion this has to be first! If you know anything about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you'll know that changing negative thinking into positive thinking is one of the main tenets. How do you do this you ask?! Well when you start to feel yourself, or catch yourself, being negative make a quick change to something more positive. Example - "I feel fat" change to "It's a beautiful day outside today". People a lot of times think that they have to make thinking changes toward themselves, that's very difficult in the beginning, it is much easier to just think about random positive things. Think about your favorite flower or a funny joke. Eventually those negative thoughts will decrease and you will begin to see things in a positive way.
2. Positive Peer Group - Have you ever heard that saying, "you are what you eat"? Same concept..."you are who you hang out with". If a person hangs out with people who do drugs and steal the likelihood of them participating is high. If you hang out with someone who likes fitness and health eventually it will be something you like as well. You want to be around people who bring out the best you possible. You want to be with people who push you to be better and are positive. Believe me...I have known positive Penelope and negative Nell and one is DEFINITELY better than the other.
3. Self-Esteem - you are probably like "duh Cassie, this one is obvious". Unfortunately there are so many people out there that do not like themselves. Low self-esteem is for a variety of reasons. Some of it stems from early life experiences. Sometimes it develops later on in life due to continuous negative experiences. Whatever the reason people, a vast majority of these people are women, do not like themselves. I am very guilty of this. During my first prep I was CONSTANTLY comparing myself to others. I wanted to look like them, I wanted what they have. Well what is so fricking wrong with what I have right now?! Nothing is exactly right. I started to change the way I was looking at things, stopped comparing myself to others and almost instantly I was happier.
4. Love of Others - One thing that I have learned in life is that I have not gotten to this place in my life without help from other people. I have amazing parents. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have amazing friends. All of these people have been with me through thick and thin. This one is not "loving" someone in the romantic sense, it is about knowing that there are other people out in the world. This world does not revolve around you. When you have a bad day the world doesn't stop spinning. To love others is to leave your problems at the door sometimes as well as being able to trust others with super secret spy stuff (aka SSSS) :-) Believe it or not there are people out there that do not trust and all they think about is themselves, it's sad because they have to be very lonely.
5. Spirituality - I honestly don't care if you believe in God or Jesus or Muhammad or whoever. Knowing that you are here on this planet for a reason should give you solace. It should be something to relish in and focus on when you feel off "centered". Spirituality is about knowing that no matter the reason, you are here and you have a purpose. Finding that purpose is the spice of life. Live it up, find what you like and go for gold! Meditation, prayer, church, yoga, deep breathing are various examples of ways to evaluate spirituality.
1. Positive Thinking - in typical social work fashion this has to be first! If you know anything about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you'll know that changing negative thinking into positive thinking is one of the main tenets. How do you do this you ask?! Well when you start to feel yourself, or catch yourself, being negative make a quick change to something more positive. Example - "I feel fat" change to "It's a beautiful day outside today". People a lot of times think that they have to make thinking changes toward themselves, that's very difficult in the beginning, it is much easier to just think about random positive things. Think about your favorite flower or a funny joke. Eventually those negative thoughts will decrease and you will begin to see things in a positive way.
2. Positive Peer Group - Have you ever heard that saying, "you are what you eat"? Same concept..."you are who you hang out with". If a person hangs out with people who do drugs and steal the likelihood of them participating is high. If you hang out with someone who likes fitness and health eventually it will be something you like as well. You want to be around people who bring out the best you possible. You want to be with people who push you to be better and are positive. Believe me...I have known positive Penelope and negative Nell and one is DEFINITELY better than the other.
3. Self-Esteem - you are probably like "duh Cassie, this one is obvious". Unfortunately there are so many people out there that do not like themselves. Low self-esteem is for a variety of reasons. Some of it stems from early life experiences. Sometimes it develops later on in life due to continuous negative experiences. Whatever the reason people, a vast majority of these people are women, do not like themselves. I am very guilty of this. During my first prep I was CONSTANTLY comparing myself to others. I wanted to look like them, I wanted what they have. Well what is so fricking wrong with what I have right now?! Nothing is exactly right. I started to change the way I was looking at things, stopped comparing myself to others and almost instantly I was happier.
4. Love of Others - One thing that I have learned in life is that I have not gotten to this place in my life without help from other people. I have amazing parents. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have amazing friends. All of these people have been with me through thick and thin. This one is not "loving" someone in the romantic sense, it is about knowing that there are other people out in the world. This world does not revolve around you. When you have a bad day the world doesn't stop spinning. To love others is to leave your problems at the door sometimes as well as being able to trust others with super secret spy stuff (aka SSSS) :-) Believe it or not there are people out there that do not trust and all they think about is themselves, it's sad because they have to be very lonely.
5. Spirituality - I honestly don't care if you believe in God or Jesus or Muhammad or whoever. Knowing that you are here on this planet for a reason should give you solace. It should be something to relish in and focus on when you feel off "centered". Spirituality is about knowing that no matter the reason, you are here and you have a purpose. Finding that purpose is the spice of life. Live it up, find what you like and go for gold! Meditation, prayer, church, yoga, deep breathing are various examples of ways to evaluate spirituality.
6. Hobbies - for goodness sakes do fun things! I mean for real, what do you like to do? Find fun things and do them! We tend to let hobbies go due to kids, job, time management problems, etc. Don't let these things get in the way of your happiness. Hobbies should be the thing you turn to when you need an escape, when you want to turn that frown upside down. :-( ---> :-)
7. Healthy Lifestyle - this one is probably the easiest to understand. Put crap in = get crap out. Healthy lifestyle - this includes exercise and diet. But it also includes sleep and your emotional/mental well being. I am not going to go into health a whole lot because I mean...seriously this is a blog about health, come back and I'll CONSTANTLY tell you about it ;-)
8. Practice, Practice, Practice - happiness is not something fixed...it is fluid. Some days will be better than others. You want to practice these 7 things DAILY! I promise that if you practice you will feel much happier :-)
I know this is not a typical post for me...but I think that mental health is just as important as physical health...you cannot have one without the other. Hope this helps...please ask questions in the comment section if you have any!!
<3
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